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As someone who has lost a loved one to suicide, I want to say this loud and clear for the people in the back.
Choosing to Be Happy is NOT Toxic. Sure it might seem weird, or silly or awkward or wrong to push yourself to do things like sing, and dance, and smile and practice gratitude and meditate and work out when you are feeling really sad.
But choosing to stay in a state of despair is absolutely toxic.
Sometimes being called “toxically positive” stings more than it should!
No matter how many degrees And certifications I have in the science of well being, positive psychology and social work- or how many years I’ve had working in psychiatric hospitals, homeless shelters and with youth in foster care, and even though I’m a cheerleader for thousands of people every day on the Choose to Be Happy Podcast, this all does not make me exempt from feeling really bad when people laugh at me and call me names.
But after sitting with the hard feelings for the last 24 hours, today I decided to take the advice of my greatest teachers: Martin Seligman, Laurie Santos, Rabbi Nachman, Cathy Heller Reinstein, My grandfather and my daughter- (which I share every day on the Choose to Be Happy Podcast)- and today after my shower and reminding myself that I am continuing to show up because what I’ve come to learn as a grandchild of Holocaust survivors who has lost loved ones to suicide: is that positivity is not toxic- but allowing yourself to stay in a state of despair is.
So today, I picked myself up and put on my roller skates and decided to dance.
If I’m not for you, that’s ok. I know I’m not for everyone. But if you’re unhappy, please I want to remind you that you are needed. That there is hope. And that there are so many resources out there to help you.
Rabbi Nachman said “Depression does tremendous damage. Use every ploy you can think of to bring yourself to joy… Avoid depression at all cost. It is the root of all illness and dis-ease.”
To learn more about how to bring yourself to joy- listen to every episode of the Choose to Be Happy Podcast.
You can also study Positive Psychology with Martin Seligman through Penn, or learn all about the Science of Well Being with Laurie Santos at Yale.
The Choose to Be Happy Podcast shares simple tips and tricks to pull you out of despair and give you all the tools you need to thrive. And here are so many more resources I grabbed from the @btwfoundation should you or a loved one need them.
For an international resource directory, visit:
The Trevor Project /
1 866-488-7386
Trans Lifeline /
1 877-565-8860
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline /
1 800-273-8255
LGBT National Youth Talkline /
1 800-246-7743
Crisis Text Line /
US: Text HOME to 741741
Canada: Text 686868
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If you want to do something that would help me out more than you can even imagine, please subscribe to and like the podcast. please take a second to do that now- on Apple or Spotify.
And if you really want to light me up so bright- if you could write me a comment on the podcast and even share the show with a friend, that would be so awesome!!!
If you want to get in touch, I do offer private coaching to help people feel better- and would be happy to help anyone you know who is looking to light up their life!
You can reach me at Evey@LetYourselfSparkle.com
I used to think it was selfish to focus on self care, but then I realized that when you show up with good energy, your light inspires the light to force its way out of others so that they can let themselves sparkle too. You are an instrument of change, adding so much light to the world.
Special thanks to Cathy Heller and her podcast “Don’t Keep Your Day Job” for the inspiration to put this show together, and for her song Gonna Make a Change which is featured in the episode.
